Primary Education for adults Part I (From our kids)

As a child starts developing her cognitive skills, we give her a pen and thus begins a journey of tests, competition and learning how to win. But it all begins with Primary Education. As adults, we think the kids are so cute, so vulnerable and learning the basic skills. But I can hardly count how many times I stand corrected by my children that they are not the only ones learning basics all the time.

Standing up, each time you fall, take your mind away from your problems to really realize if it is a genuine problem, going through the pain of trying a million times before you can say a word correctly, learning to tackle one thing at a time, picking up on other’s emotions. These are all things our kids do like a pro, yet we fail to realize the importance of these each day in our day to day!

Every time I have a conversation with my children I learn how much we as adults as prisoners of our own mental limits and how we have buried our primary education underneath everything else we grasp and apply everyday. So before I share some real life examples of how my kids are my teachers, let me first explain Primary Education as cited in Learn.org:

So while we did grow up getting this primary education first, instead of priming all our further education with primary education, we bury it underneath and then scramble through the rest of our lives applying only secondary education. Initially I thought it was just me. But reading up on Primary education and reflecting on the state of the earth, society and humankind, I feel this is a common practice and we must review our primary education as adults.

First, dealing with failure: It comes packed with shame! So we stop trying. After all, its going to be so embarrassing trying to use the chopsticks in front of everyone at the table — they are pros at it and I can barely pick it up! I better stick to the fork! A new language? I’m too old to try, I will only make fun of myself trying these words. I am certainly guilty of putting on that armor saying everything is perfect so I don’t get into an uncomfortable zone of trying something new or learning a new skill. And this has kicked in more so after becoming a mom, so busy trying to be a perfect role model! You know what amplified this thought? The chapter Shame from Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly! Must listen.

Yet, my kids are spending each day learning something new, trying something new. Well, with the exception of food :-).. try anything new without shame! Break that egg, find out the bottle of oil leaks, that strawberries have color and stain their shirt, that climbing needs coordination. While learning to walk, kids must fall a 100 times. Yet, they get back up and then eventually master that skill. Writing the letter ‘A’ a 100 times before perfecting it, cursive writing, etc etc etc. Kids only know shame when we say it and it becomes their inner voice – sit properly, what will others think? stop it, this is not how you behave in public. Mannerisms are important, but controlling creativity is certainly not. I have caught myself in the act — with myself, with my kids. It is hurting my learning abilities and killing my curiosity and I am working with my kids to learn better. Will you?

Coming Up Part II…Seeing problems for what they are.