Where men miss the mark consistently across the globe!

Trying to solve all her problems instead of listening compassionately

Gone are the days when you were the knight in the shining armor (if they ever existed)! History has proven that women have time and again played a VERY strong role in society. So I don’t understand why men think they need to solve for or explain (mansplain) everything. She gets it and gets it deeper and harder than you do. So just shut up and listen once in a while!

Not listening when she mentions or hints at her desires

Has she ever mentioned a restaurant or an experience while planning the next thing you guys want to do only to be shot down? Chances are that between kids and your desires, she has either not brought up her ideas or they have been constantly ignored and she’s okay with it for the sake of ….. (Family, you idiot) ! Next time, listen carefully and make a note on paper and make it happen!

Apologizing without knowing what you are apologizing for

It is not the BIG things that bother her, but usually a simple gesture or non-verbal communication that let out during a communication that she picked up on. Women are soo in-tuned with your family, your needs, house needs, kids needs, etc. that sometimes its hard for them to believe that you don’t reciprocate the same attention to detail and care for her family. So don’t apologize for the big stuff that you think could have gone wrong, but instead think of the small things that you may have said inadvertently.

Taking her mental load for granted

Be it buying the Christmas presents for everyone and their mother, or packing the gift for the next birthday party or even the drying up supply of groceries in the house and her parents’ house — nothing is missed by a mom and a woman’s mind! Add on top if she is working or even more — she’s a leader in her office. Planning the next party or even the potluck meal for someone else’s party are just a small list of things that can keep her up at night. You can certainly take some off by sitting with her once a week and planning with her.

Not giving her the space to process her feelings

When she’s anxious and doesn’t want to be bothered, give her the time and space to process her feelings. Treat her to something nice, maybe her favorite food. And you DARE not stop her or remind her of her diet and health plans if she’s going for something she likes while she’s anxious or on or close to her period!

Not knowing her period cycle and her emotional schedule

Come on! If you’re still here then come out of your rocks and start tracking her period on yoourrr calendar! After all, she maintains your relatives birthdays on her calendar! This is the least you can do.

Not taking the time to express your own feelings with her and being vulnerable

Instead of feeling in-tune with your partner, most men feel the “pressure” of being there for his woman rather than considering her your partner. If only, you started opening up to her about your own feelings she’d feel so much closer to you. So don’t stress alone about your own work, finances, relationships, etc. Bring her in. This is a much bigger foreplay for her.

Not giving her the boost or encouragement she deserves to lead her own way in life

If you think about it, for generations, the whole community has been raised to give men the mental, physical and emotional space to go out and provide for their family. Lookup the mental load above and think about how many times a kids birthday, or laundry kept you up at night? It’s not because you can’t do those things, but because someone has been doing those for you for generations. This meant millions of women dreams have constantly taken a back seat and they still do. Over time, these constant stressors in her life hit her confidence level and her ability to take a chance on herself and learn a new skill or keep up with old.

There’s a boat load of stats out there around how this bias shows up at work and how men are constantly judged on their potential vs. women are judged on their work done and how men apply for a job even if their skills are a 40% match vs. a woman will shy away even with a 100% match thinking she’s not good enough.

So come out of your own comfort zone, your ego shells (oh not you, I know you don’t have one, nope!! this was for the other men) and flatter her, give her a boost. After all, she deserves it!